Parallel Slalom

The project 'Parallel Slalom' is a mode of simultaneously writing 'parallel' stories by two authors on a previously set theme, chosen via a specific procedure. During the eight years of working on this joint venture, Ogurlic and Jurkovic have written more than a hundred parallel stories. This project gave birth to two books; 'Parallel Slalom' (ICR, 1989), and 'The Most beautiful Stories - Parallel Slalom 2' (Tiskara Rijeka 1993) and to a homonymous theatre production by Rijeka's ensemble 'Otvorena Scena Belveder'

Ogurlic '96

BUKOWSKI IS COMING

When you're into being a writer, it is best that you do not read anything. Sometimes maybe you can take some book and read a few sentences.

It always seems to me that writing sentences is the hardest task in literature. If there is such a thing. And I hold that it is hard to write almost anything without sentences.

You can immediately recognize a man who is not able to put a full stop in the right place. Or he doesn't want to. Then his entire thought seems to be an embroiled tapeworm. I always place the stop where I think it has been enough. There is no other measure for the man willing to write than to put a full stop at the end of the sentence.

Actually, the best thing is not to think about it at all. The full stop comes and goes - fiuuu! It is the same with shit. If I take hours to preparing to shit, I will never be satisfied afterwards. The best thing is to crap when the time comes. Then you can move on. And - you didn't get especially excited about the whole thing. Sometimes you don't even notice anything, except a certain ease, as if you squeeze out a spot. You feel good because you didn't ponder too much over the shit.

The essence of the full stop is that it doesn't mean a thing. This means that you can put it anywhere. There are three colours on the traffic light and each of them denotes something, but still one of them is less significant than the others. It is the YELLOW colour. The one telling you to prepare yourself. You step on the accelerator and you are soon to be moving. The yellow light is there for your sluggishness. It exists so you don't get surprised with a sudden change of colour. The full stop serves the same purpose. When you see the full stop, you inhale a little and proceed. If you get horny over a fast ride, no full stop will help. It is my task to place the full stop and yours to see what you will do with it.

Which is the next question?

Jurkovic '86

BUKOWSKI IS COMING

- I will screw that son of a bitch with my baseball staff! - shouted Bert Tucson in an obviously upset mood.

- Guys, we have to fuck him off totally - yelled Connie Fren while he poured 'Southern Comfort' in everyone's glasses

Blokes were totally drunk hanging at the bar like sacks of shit and did not even notice when I entered the bar that New Uxbridge was so much of a crap place that I was in no mood to return to that fucking HOLE. Vicky was a damned bitch but was right told me ten times yesterday while I screwed her who can banish you from one CRAP HOLE take your car and go back to New Uxbridge and fuck them off drink your drink you are a FREE MAN she told. I even sent a telegram to the bar owner saying I'm coming to have a drink and I will be her HERO I threwn myself over the bar but no-one noticed me everyone had fun talking about ME threatening me

- We will fuck him like an old ass as soon as he enters the bar - concluded the old bald loathsome Ray whom I remember because of his stupid jokes

I wanted a cold beer because I had enough of this SHIT I yelled my order to a bloke suddenly a hush everyone stared at me can I have a COLD BEER I howled we will fuck you queen they said and moved towards me I ground the first one's muzzle but then they fixed me badly I thought all's finished but they yelled and then someone hit my shoulder from underneath with a leg I lied in a pool of blood when I tried to stand up I hit a bar chair with my head I was not well however I pulled myself together and told them guys you're not so bad but I would really like to drink my BEER they burst into laughter I got my beer. Later on Vicky PATCHED ME UP you were right I told her I am a free man I can have beer wherever I want to and then we LAUGHED